aloha every day

aloha every day

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Sleepless in San Diego

I've always been a light sleeper,
but I've never been a poor sleeper...
that is until recently.

I'm plenty tired come bed-time.
In fact, I'm usually the first to sleep.
A few hours later,
I'm up.
Rollin' around to find a comfortable spot,
getting up to get water,
 my mind racing with thoughts of tomorrow,
and the next day,
and the next day,
Did I just say my mind is racing?
Because I've been reading a lot about ways to improve sleep,
one of which is to include meditation daily.
Seems to be a good fit.
I've been meaning to start meditating now for a while.
But therein lies the conundrum:
Meditation doesn't work like that.
"Meaning to meditate" 
in fact
the complete
of meditation!

So this morning,
sleepless in San Diego
at 4 a.m.
I opened up the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 
(say that 5 times fast :)
meditation challenge:

I've been "meaning" to begin this challenge for 
7 days now.
What better time than 4 a.m., Sunday morning?
I turn on the audio recording,
and begin to follow the directions:
"...any time other thoughts come into your head,
say the mantra: Lam."

I battle this the whole time.
I'm thinking about:
 what I can do with the leftover zucchini (I decided on calabacitas burritos, but should I wait for Wednesday because Danielle will be here and she would like them, but will the zucchini still be good if I wait that long...oh yah, I could flash boil them and freeze them),
whether tomorrow will be as foggy as yesterday,
what I should assign for homework on Monday,
an upcoming IEP meeting,
I should turn the heater down...It's hot in here,
where should we go to breakfast in the morning?
I'm reminding myself of the scene in Eat, Pray, Love
where she makes it to the ashram in India
and is thinking about how to decorate her meditation room
rather than meditating.

I battled this the ENTIRE time
until I'd had enough of my racing brain 
and I turned the meditation off.
I know, I know...
I should have turned my brain off instead.
But I turned off the meditation and decided:
Tomorrow (now today)
is a new day.
I'm going to do everything in my power
to free myself from this rat race 
that I've put myself into.
I know for a FACT now,
that my sleeplessness
is coming from 
my anxiety

Today is a new day.
I'm starting on day 1 of the meditation challenge
and I'm going through all 21 days.
No interruptions.
Me time.

Here's to improving my life by simplifying my mind!

and Happy St. Patty's day!
"May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go."
~Irish Blessing


p.s. Check out my view for the week!

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