aloha every day

aloha every day

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Meh-wege, oh meh-wege

My older brother's getting married tomorrow.

I am so happy for him I could just pee explode!

He's only older than me by 16 months, 
so really,
we're more like twins...
even though I look more like my younger brother.

16 months is not a big separation.
So, you know,
we grew up arm-in-arm...
connected at the hip.
We danced together
from the time I was 2 and he was 3.3 years old.
We would make up dance routines in our back yard
and
perform them till our audience was no longer amused...
then we would do the dance
one
more 
time...
just in case anyone missed the best part.
We went everywhere together.
We even went to college together!
Well,
I sent him first to check out the scene,
and I followed shortly thereafter.
Which is how it always was for us.
Kevin went first,
and I followed
WHATEVER
he was doing.
Mom would even try next season's girl clothes on Kevin,
just to see if they would fit me next season!
No.
Joke.

After college, 
we moved away from each other for the first time.
He to LA, then SD,
me to HI.
8 years later,
here we are.
Back together again.
Living in the same town.
Sharing in each other's lives,
just as we've always done.
And just as we'll always do.
I am SO happy for you, my brother.
You have found the woman who makes your life even happier than I could have ever imagined it.
And I should know when you are happy,
because I've been there...
I've seen it...
I know you front and back, up and down.
You are HAPPY...
and in keeping with the story of our lives thus far,
I share in your joy.
Congratulations Kevin and Shannon Miller Alexis.
I love you.
aloha.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

85

She would have been 85 tomorrow.
I say "would have" because
she passed away 
a few months 
ago.

She was an adventurer.
Always seeking fun.
Never needing or desiring anyone to do anything for her.
She did for herself...
what she wanted...
when she wanted.

She was a planner.
Every detail
of every event...
planned...
seamlessly.

She was a seamstress.
Each seam sewed to perfection.
She taught me how to sew..
and how to inspect store bought clothes for quality seams.

She called me honey girl.
I don't know why,
but I loved it.

She and I adopted each other.
She had lost her husband,
I had lost my grandma.
She loved that I had pierced 7 holes in my ears,
I adored that she accepted me for who I was.
We were like minds.

She wrote me letters...
lots of letters.
We were pen pals when I lived in Hawai'i.
Receiving her letters was a slice of home...
...a hug
...a cinnamon roll fresh from her oven
...a smile like none other.
I could ask her anything.
Advice on cooking,
sewing,
marriage,
LIFE!
And I knew the answer would be a few short weeks away,
in her response letter.

She passed away a few months ago in a roll-over car accident caused by a popped tire.
I've been
angry,
frustrated,
sentimental,
sad.
I struggle between reasonings:
1- It's not fair that she was taken from me so early...
she still had SO MUCH LIFE to live.
2- At least she was taken before old age had a chance to consume her...
she would never have been okay with being trapped in a body/mind that was failing her.
3- At least she died doing what she loved...
adventuring out on her own.

She would have been 85 tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will CELEBRATE her...
and I will meditate on how I can carry on her legacy...
 for there is no reason to continue in sadness.
She was in my life for a reason,
and if a model for my future ever existed,
it was her.

I love you forever, Grandma Dee.

Aloha,
Honey Girl