Abandon

 

Of all of the wonderful beaches here on O'ahu, this one is my favorite.  There is no parking lot, no store nearby, no bathroom...at most I've seen 5 people here and they are typically throwing fishing nets into the ocean.  This beach is not a tourist stop. I've laid next to monk seals, both of us basking in the solace of unknown territory.  I've played my guitar while singing loudly, and there was no one to tell me not to.  

It is the single most spiritual place I have encountered in my lifetime.

In short, it is HERE that I come into a place of complete abandonment.  I abandon any notions of what should be done today, any thoughts of responsibility towards anything but my connection to the land.  I abandon time, worry, doubt, and fear.  Gone are the ties that bind.

The ocean has blessed me with some amazing gifts at this beach.  It was here, during one of my beach clean-up sessions that I found my large cowrie that I strung and now wear around my neck.  I am careful not to take shells that are not given.  My cowrie was buried in the sand, its resident long since vacated, and was waiting for me next to a piece of trash.

This place is so special to me that I hesitate sharing it...but here goes... 

Here I am at the beach today.  I don't come here to swim (this is not a swimming beach...rocks) or tan on a bright towel.  I come here to think, to give back to the ocean by cleaning the beach, and to connect back to who I am and why I am here.

Today I explored the tide pools before combing for trash.  LIFE!  The water was crashing, the guppies were swimming, the crabs were clicking and crawling. 

While exploring the tide pools in the morning sun, I heard the words of Rachel Carson from her book "The Edge of the Sea" in my head.  "A rocky coast, even though it is swept by surf, allows life to exist openly through adaptations for clinging to the firm surfaces provided by the rocks and by other structural provisions for dissipating the force of the waves."  Okay, so I didn't have ALL of that in my head, but I could only imagine what it would be like to have her there with me, exploring and discussing the patterns existing in front of our eyes.  She was amazing.  

This is my favorite picture of the day.  Check out all the action...the breaking wave in the background, the rolling water over the rocks, the reflection in the tide pool, the sun shining on everything...I just LOVE IT

This little guy found a great home...complete with a window!  I could only hope for a home as beautiful...maybe one day...

These are the lichens (I think?) that were visible because the tide was super low.  I've seen them before, but for some reason today, they begged to be photographed.  Just beautiful. Their spirals remind me of the perfect spiral existent in a cone shell.

Here's a seaweed that was growing next to the lichen.  I was stoked that my camera took such a clear picture! 

A beautiful lichen fan...

The perfection of nature's design.

This is the only shell I found today.  It was the top of a cone shell that had been quite weathered.  I left it there, as I did not feel like it was mine to take today. 

This, my friends, is a sea cucumber.  Upon close observation, it was breathing, moving, expanding and contracting...awesome...

I felt like it was saying to me, "Okay.  You've slowed down...now, follow me: Breathe, expand, contract...that's it...it's just that simple."  Thank you, sea cucumber. My anxious tendencies needed that.

My tradition upon leaving this wonderful sanctuary is to practice a simple meditation.  It goes like this:  Close your eyes and, one at a time, go through your senses.  Be aware of what you hear.  Be aware of what you smell.  Be aware of what you feel (physically feel, not emotionally...this one is really hard).  Be aware of what you taste.  Then open your eyes.  What you see will be more vibrant and meaningful. 

 

My day ended with a perfect pineapple....why don't I eat pineapple more often!?  It tasted incredible.

"And so in that enchanted place on the threshold of the sea the realities that possessed my mind were far from those of the land world I had left an hour before."

- Rachel Carson, The Edge of the Sea

She sells seashells

She sells seashells down by the seashore... 

(actually I don't sell them...I just like them)

Hail, hail, the gang's all here

"When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment.  It is an impossibility.  It is even a lie to pretend to.  And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.  We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships.  We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb.  We are afraid it will never return."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

"On its smooth symmetrical face is pencilled with precision a perfect spiral, winding inward to the pinpoint center of the shell, the tiny dark core of the apex, the pupil of the eye.  It stares at me, this mysterious single eye-and I stare back."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

"My eye follows with delight the outer circumference of that diminutive winding staircase up which this tenant used to travel.  My shell is not like this, I think.  How untidy it has become!  Blurred with moss, knobby with barnacles, its shape is hardly recognizable any more.  Surely, it had a shape once.  It has a shape still in my mind.  What is the shape of my life?"
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

"What release to write so that one forgets oneself, forgets one's companion, forgets where one is or what one is going to do next- to be drenched in work as one is drenched in sleep or in the sea." 

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

"Some days bring special gifts; I am honored knowing that I am not alone.  I rejoice." 

-Cynthia Derosier and Time Anderson, The Surfer Spirit

"I am sure no amount of drill would have implanted the names so firmly as just going through the woods in the spirit of two friends on an expedition of exciting discovery...If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." 

-Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder

"...the best relationship of all: not a limited, mutually exclusive one, like the sunrise shell; and not a functional, dependent one, as in the oyster bed; but the meeting of two whole fully developed people as persons." 

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

"Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach-living: simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid.  And my shells?  I can sweep them all into my pocket.  They are only there to remind me that the sea recedes and returns eternally."
-Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

aloha.

Kev and Bra

These are my  brothers...that's right, my bloodline.  

They were at the airport waiting for their bags in this shot.

They are wonderful people...

  

Bra is Indiana Jones and likes to study classics.  Here he is in Italy.

 

Kev is superman and knows how to fly. 

 

They even like to dress alike.

Alongside these things, my brothers are my heroes.  No flowery words needed.  Just MY HEROES.

Celebrate Life

   This is a post from last year that I forgot to publish.  It has been in my draft folder for a year.  Does that tell you anything about how busy we've been.  While reading, remember that this was LAST YEAR at this time.

Brandon's graduation!

The view from our new apartment

Our honeymoon

It has certainly been 7 months since my last post and there has been SO MUCH going on...Here's the run-down:

In February, we were both accepted to school at UH! Nick is going to get his Masters in Educational Foundations and I am getting my masters in Special Education. We are excited and a little nervous about the time and concentration that going back school is going to take away from our free time!

In March we went on our honeymoon in Portland...it rocked! Spent time in Manzanita and then in the city. Despite the cold, we really liked the city itself!

Shortly after we returned from our honeymoon, our apartment was burglarized. It was a crazy experience, to say the least. Luckily neither of us were home when the burglar came. Our neighbors saw him knocking on our door, but just thought he was a friend of ours. He took our computers, camera, guitar, and jewelry. We learned a lot about security and what we will and will not accept as a living space. I had been inhibited about living there, but did not listen to myself...

The next week, we moved into a wonderful new apartment! Despite the reasoning behind why we moved, we feel like we are meant to be here! We now have a pool, bbq area, basketball courts, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a rockin' view and LOTS of security!

Unfortunately, the week after we moved in, Nick's dad passed away. We are so glad that he had the chance to visit us here on Oahu in January. He loved it here and was talking about another trip to visit us. We are so sad that he never got that chance. We are so extremely heartbroken over his passing.  His life was too short, as was Dona's.  My husband is amazingly strong, and I am right here beside him for when he doesn't feel so strong.

The next weekend, Brandon graduated from college at U of A with a bachelor's degree in Classics. I am so proud of him. We always been really close, like twins, and I couldn't have been more emotional as he walked across that stage! He moved to San Diego and is now living with Kevin.

After the Illinois/Arizona trip, I came back to O'ahu for the Punahou dance recital. My kiddos really did well! The next week, I headed back home to NM to help my mom organize the "Stuff" from my childhood and beyond. It was a week full of action, to say the least. We got everything organized, though, and I now have a new nickname... the "Slave Driver".

I'm now finally back on the island indefinitely and am so thankful to be home. Nick and I have been able to spend a lot of quality time together that we haven't had a lot of time to do since our wedding. It's been a crazy first 6 months of marriage! So crazy, in fact, that I am JUST NOW changing my name! Wow!

Aloha.

Gene, Frankie, and me

I was born in the wrong era...I just know it.  I belong with these people:

   

You see, Gene and Frankie sang about positive, fun things...like singing in the rain, strangers in the night (the good kind, not the robber kind), and taking life nice and easy...and they danced while they sang about it.  This is what I do every day, only I am not as accepted when I do such things in public.  

I'm sure they had their share of shenanigans, but as the evolution of societal shenanigans goes, I'm sure theirs did not include as many four-letter words and derogatory/ violent material as the crap that goes down today.  I just don't relate to today.  I am forever thankful for film and vocal recordings...they keep me connected to my "peeps"...hehe.

If only I was born decades earlier....Gene and Frankie, you'll just have to wait for me up there in tap dancing heaven...

Good thing about Hawaii?  Summer rain showers...glory...

That is what I love about you...

I'll begin today with a few recent pictures:

We're growing lettuce in our apartment window.  We attempted to grow it in our garden but quickly discovered that slugs REALLY like lettuce.  YUCK!  So we are attempting to grow it in pots!  Here's a pic of our sweet little lettuce...lett-i?  What is the plural of lettuce, anyway?  Lettuce, I think...

     

Secondly, my summer officially began a few days ago.  On day one of my break, I managed to pop these out.  I expect to be 300 pounds by next week:

  

Now onto the purpose of my post.  I've been thinking a lot about a phrase that I once heard spoken by a very wise man, whom I'll simply call "The Dr.".  In response to something wonderful done by another person, he said to him/her, "THAT is what I LOVE about you."  On the surface level, this can be interpreted plainly as his expression of thanks towards the kindness of another.  However, this wise man is also a very wise teacher, which implies that there is a deeper intention behind his statement.  

Not only is he saying "thanks", he is also administering positive reinforcement, which we all need on a very deep level in order to grow with confidence, yet frequently fail to recognize.  Not only is he administering positive reinforcement, he is acknowledging and suggesting social acceptance of a person for their positive attributes.  These are all teaching skills that can and should be used more frequently in our daily lives. 

As a society, we Americans have accepted a norm that is focused on drama, fear, and negativity.  Our nightly news very rarely covers any "good" news, and if it does, it is shown at 5am.  Perhaps we simply are not recognizing the positive attributes of those around us.  If we are, we are surely not telling them that "that is what we love about them."

I'll never forget the first time the wise teacher said that to me.  I had done something small, that on any other occasion would not have been recognized.  On this occasion, it was recognized and announced, not that I was a good person for having done what I did, but that what I did made me a valid member of the group.  "That" was why they loved me.  I felt accepted, validated, worthy.  Isn't this what we all want? Acceptance.

While teaching this summer, I decided to use these words in combination with a strategy to enhance the social skills of a student with disability.  My college social skills class had encouraged me to promote the student's social acceptance (for which he had very little) by acknowledging something GREAT that he had done in front of his peers.  Apparently, research has shown that students with social skill deficits can enhance their skill set if an adult (especially one that is respected by the student's peers, as well) vocalizes acceptance of this student in front of his peers.  Because I was teaching dance in a public school, this was a simple task to take on. The MOMENT I saw the child follow one of my movement directions, I asked him to come to the front and be my assistant because he was dancing "with excellence."

Now, I've seen excitement, and I've seen pride, but I've NEVER seen emotion like he showed.  Surprise, fear, excitement, and confusion was painted on his face and carried through his movements as he wandered up to the front of the class.  I don't think this child had ever been told that he did good in front of his peers.  I'm sure his teacher had told him that he did well every now and again, but he is in a special education class with 4 other students.  In dance, he was with 20 peers...his entire general education class.  As he walked up to me, his peers were clapping for him, and I saw it....PRIDE.  He performed the dance move with me while his peers watched.  Applause!  Jumping up and down, throwing his hands in air, this child not only felt like he belonged, he felt like he had something to give to his society.  PRICELESS.  

When the applause had settled, I took his hand (this child craves physical attention due to the lack of ANY attention at home; although we aren't supposed to do that in the schools...shhh...don't tell) and shook it high in the sky as if he had won a big race.  Then I asked the class, "What was EXCELLENT about his dancing?"  The class gave 3 or 4 responses, all of which made his smile widen further.  To their responses, I simply said, "Those are some of the things that we love about him." (I'm also pretty sure we aren't supposed to say that we love a child in the public schools). Later that day, I witnessed the student playing with kids on the playground with whom he had NEVER played.

Thank you, wise teacher, for giving me the words to say and the personal experience to know their power.  

  

Happy 4th of July!  Here is a picture from our morning walk today...

aloha

Thesis Methinks-is?

I thought I'd start this post with the lovely picture outside my window right now!  Wow!  How fantastically inspiring!!!  Exclamation point!!

Now onto the purpose for this post...my graduate thesis.  From the moment I entered grad school for special ed, I knew that I wanted to write my thesis on the effects of movement (particularly dance) on children with special needs.  This summer, I've had the incredible opportunity to teach "dance" to K-4th graders at a local public elementary school.  I am now two weeks into teaching and have experienced SO MANY instances of children with special needs flourishing in the dance classroom.  I will write a separate post with describing those experiences.  I am JAZZED up about furthering my research.  What that will look like, I don't know, but for now I know in my heart that these kids are moved by moving (Possible title?).

Here are some thoughts that I had the other day while reflecting on my days' teaching and how that might relate to my thesis:

It is summer 2010 and I am sitting by the window of my highrise apartment watching a young boy (middle school-aged?) as he runs out of a two-story walk-up apartment building.  At first, I wonder if something detrimental has happened to him because he is flinging his arms and running at a fast pace.  Interestingly, he stops at the street corner (he is obviously not running from something/one) and kicks the button to cross the street.  The behaviorist in me stops writing my 4th school paper (in 5 days...yuck) and attempts to determine the function of his behavior. 

He then jumps, turns a 360, kicks one leg out and lands, which springs him forward toward the glass door of the next apartment building.  He hits the glass with the sole of his skater-sized tennis shoe in a ninja-like fashion.  "Oh NO", I say out loud.  However the door doesn't break. 

Without affect, he walks to the corner of the street and waits patiently until the light turned green for him to walk.  The calm before the storm?  Or is it after the storm?  Has the full storm yet occurred?  I continue to watch...

Green.  He sprints like lion towards it's prey and jumps onto the curb as if he had a skateboard underneath his feet....and off he went, down the street, out of sight.

I think:

1) Maniac Magee

2) Thank GOD the frail elderly ladies that normally cross the street were not crossing at the same time, for they would have been taken DOWN by his whirlwind.

3) This boy has more energy than he knows what to do with

4) The potential of that energy in DANCE CLASS is off the charts!  I'd love to help him channel it into focused art!

5) I wonder what that energy looks like in the classroom! 

And then I realize...I already know.

Best thing about Hawai'i?  FRESH MANGOES!!!

CSA Hooray!

In our hankering for a fresh summer, we joined a Community Supported Agrigulture (CSA).  CSAs provide a box of prodcue straight from the local farmer, ensuring that the vegetables are of upmost nutritional quality, and supporting the local economy! 

We didn't know what to expect, but upon picking up our first CSA box about an hour ago, this vegetarian has NEVER been more excited! LOTS of salad greens, tomatoes, eggplant, mango, kale, swiss chard....oh my!  We couldn't have bought half of this from the grocery for what we paid for a weekly box. 

I also love that someone else chooses the vegetables for us.  If I were to pick veggies, I would pick what I am comfortable with cooking.  Now, I'm learning to cook kale and swiss chard!  Plus, even though we love eggplant and mangos, we never buy them because they're expensive! AND someone else has done my shopping for me!  How about that!

All around, all positives! 
The picture above is of the loot from our first box...

Best thing about Hawai'i?  Most vegetables are in season year-round!