aloha every day

aloha every day

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Fearing Fear

I've been thinking a lot this summer about:

I was a fearsome child.
Afraid of dogs.
Afraid of aliens.
Afraid of racoons.
Afraid of horses.
Afraid of intruders.

These childhood fears were not just worries.
They were
stop me in my steps,
frozen solid,
deer in headlights

As I've grown up I've found ways to cope with most of those fears.
I've also gained some others (although I believe them to be redirected emotional trauma.)
Fear has always been a part of my life.
Truthfully, I think it is a part of everyone's life, whether or not they admit it.
BUT (there's always a butt),
Fear can be healthy, or devastating.
My fears?
They fall towards the latter.

I've heard that some wise man said to "stare fear in the face."
Some other wise man said, "There's nothing to fear but fear itself."
this summer I decided to conquer some of those fears.
 I'm TIRED of living in fear.

Step 1: Dogs.
This summer, I am working at an animal shelter.
Those of you who know me from childhood are probably (nah, you ARE) LAUGHING...out loud.
This job was offered to me by a dear friend as a way to make some summer money and to help cover her position at the shelter while she was away on vacay.
So I'm there.
Now...I'm working at a kid's camp within the shelter.
I'm still petting dogs, 
holding dogs on leashes,
monitoring kids while in dog kennels...etc.
Fear of dogs? What fear of dogs?
I've realized that what I really fear is the unexpected.
The "what ifs" of the so-called fear.
Fear of dogs?
I'm not scared of the animal.
I fear the bite that might.
I fear not knowing what to do if it jumps up on me.

With that in mind,
I remind myself to stay peaceful in the moment.
I remind myself that the dog is another living being who simply wants what I want:
Attention, Love, Food
I can still have a fear of dogs, just a healthy fear in knowing that we don't speak the same language, and that (at times) they may use biting, etc. to communicate if provoked.

So here I am, conquering fears.
Up next?
Who knows?
I'm just done with fear...

And so I feel it to be appropriate to end this post with a quote (and I love a good quote) by Marianne Williamson.
It may be cliche,
but I happen to love these poetic words.
As you read it,
think about what you fear.
Is it a healthy fear?
Or is it debilitating.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

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